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Week 17 – I realized

My first year

Week 17 – I realized

Monday morning – ‘Today I begin a new life’ and ‘ greet the new sun with confidence that this is the best day of my life’! Without having to reading it, this was the state I found myself in right from the moment my daughter felt it was time to get up, even though I only got 5 hours of sleep, because ‘I awake each morning with a vitality I have never known before’. This is true and that part I have felt for some time now, but that is also still in my reading everyday.. But the part with the sun is not.. but it is still in me.. and how awesome is that 🙂

When I started reading ‘Part 17’ I realized that I had to write this blog first.. because it was talking to me.. and then I will see if I have to add something in afterwards or do one more blog this week.

I have sometimes felt that this process was way too slow.. because I really want to change for the better. That has really been a frustration, and like in my last blog, I felt that I put myself up for failure over and over again..

We were told to let go.. and I want to, but at the same time didn’t really know how or what I needed to let go.. My favorite song is actually about letting go..

Maybe it all has started without me knowing what and how.. and that was why I felt so great this morning.

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Week 16 – Why do I have a habit of setting myself up for failure?

My first year..

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Week 16 – Why do I have a habit of setting myself up for failure?

I somehow still keep getting in these situations.. so I know that my old blueprint is fighting me not to change.. but it is not going to win.

I have for a long time felt and thought that I couldn’t change the world around me.. we are talking about changing our world within, and so we do every day with all these different exercises, which I love. But I kept getting myself in these situations where I find it difficult to find the time to do them.

I didn’t feel that they were bad excuses, because I really love doing the work and finds it fascinating and fun to do.. but more like everyone and thing around me kept coming in my way. I know now that I’m the one putting them in my life, and still making my life difficult for myself..

How stupid is that!!??!!

But still that is what I do.. so how to stop? Good question.. one thing is that now I’m aware of it, then there must be a solution for it, because now I can observe it, and yes hopefully get an answer.. and yes yes.. I know you will comment, take it to a sit and you will get the answer J

How to not having to choose?

At the moment I decided.. yes it was even my idea, even though I knew it wouldn’t work out I still wanted it.. hmm.. oh but, I decided that we as family should go home to our families and stay with them, so my husband could get less stressed after having had a hard period. And of course I want him to be on top of everything, so that was why I did that, and because of my daughters 1 year birthday party, to be able to celebrate with family. I knew that it would be hard on me, because the children then couldn’t attend daycare, and at the same time I really wanted to be able to do more at this MKMMA and work in my new business..

I knew that could not be done.. and still I hoped!

Why do I have a habit of setting myself up for failure?

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Week 15 – BRAG, about all the small steps, they might be bigger than you think!

My first year on the journey…..

 

Week 15 – BRAG – About all the small steps, they might not be bigger than  you think!

Changes – Frustrations – wanting results – peptides – not seeing the progress.

Sometimes you really have to step back, look back and see and feel, to know what is going on. We often can see the changes in others but we fail to see them in ourselves, because we want big results, and don’t think anything of the small changes that is going on daily, weekly, and turn into monthly and then woops NOW a big change.

I can see in the comments that I get that people just by reading my blogs, can see me changing, and wow if that is so.. then there must really be going some changes on, because what I write is so brief and not everything what I struggle with and not about my progress. Mostly I write about all the frustrations and all the picadors I fight daily.

Last week I wrote about seeing, and being the observer, and this week I have looked even more.

Normally I have mid-week crises.. really!! Wednesday and Thursday I really fight every week, and hold on to whatever it takes for me to get through, because I know everything is better as soon as we especially hits Sunday and a new week begins..

This week I must brag..!!! Women tent to brag way too little, so here we go J

This week my crises first came today!! Yeah 2 whole days longer than normal!!! YEAH!!!

I could beat myself up over that I still have them, but why..?? I have made progress, and I also found my way out of it again already today, and it only took me 6 hours. You might think that 6 hours is a lot, and now writing 6 hours it seems long, but hey before it took me at least 48 hours.. so going from that to 6, that is AMAZING!!!

I have learned about my mistakes, that doesn’t mean that I have corrected them all yet, but I now know what will happen if I don’t prioritize myself. I know what is going to happen if I don’t ‘Do it now’ and postpone it like an very old habit was.. And why set myself u for this defeat? I know that it is the peptides.. but now I also know that I can create new and better ones, the ones that gets me what I want J

I normally do my blog Monday, and if I don’t it ends up with not knowing what to write about and feeling left behind and frustrated, because then suddenly there is a deadline.. and I beat myself up over it. This week I didn’t do ‘Do it now’ so here I am Friday doing my blog, but not frustrated YEAH!!! One more victory!

I also looked at my habits, my peptides and boy are they funny, and I really look forward to kill some more of them.. I see myself reacting as if this is the way to react, but I no longer have the feelings connecting with these actions, but my body still do it.. Ex. Getting upset about something, where I before would raise my voice and really get angry.. I now like try to do the same, but it is not what I feel, and it feels strange, but I still raise my voice, even though I actually don’t want to. Because I want to solve problems without getting angry.. and I now know that I can because I don’t get angry inside, my body just do as it have done for too long.. strange! But being an observer I know that it is changing in the right direction, and now knowing it will help be kill the last peptides holding on to the angry part. I’m not saying that it isn’t okay to become angry sometimes, but …

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Week 14 – If you look and see, you will learn something!

My first year…

Week 14 – If you look and see, you will learn something.

I have always been a great observer when seeing movies and always knew how things would turn out long before everyone else, but having this assignment to watch a movie through a certain set of glasses was fascinating, and how obvious all the characters were, and all the things we are working on. I know off course Mark did pick certain movies where we can link all these things, but still.

I actually think I will see the movie again not because it was an amazing movie, but to watch it with my husband and see what he sees, and what he gets out of it without influencing him first. It would be more fun to do it with another movie, but they are not easy to find outside the US. And at the same time when you see a movie the 2nd time you see something else.

Another funny thing is, now I only could easily access this one movie (‘Rudy’) I had no choice to at least start with this one, but that was not a coincidence. I don’t believe in coincidences. And I talked to my mastermind partner about it, and so funny because her movie also talked to her, and she had something happen to her similar to what happened in the movie, and I couldn’t relate to that at all, and she couldn’t relate to the movie I saw.

I’m not going to tell you about the movie, because I think you should see it yourself, but.. of course I’m going to tell you something since that is our assignment for the blog this week.

I saw the movie last week without actually having all the DMP, POA etc. in mind, but at the same time they were there, how could they not be.

The masterminding part in the movie I didn’t see when I saw the movie, but when Mark in the video this week said the word masterminding, I could see it right away, and at the same time started thinking of all the masterminding a lot of us do maybe even daily, just not conscious, and that is why it’s not masterminding.

I was hard to see a movie, where you could see how the “cement” was poured over this young boy, all the time being told that ‘you can’t do this’, ‘stop this nonsense’, ‘you will never achieve that’ etc. from his own dad, and then his brothers.. And how amazing that in spite of what everyone else believe he still continued against all odds, toward his dream. Yes he seemed stupid and fare out, but how far are you, me, willing to go for our dream, or is it just a nice to have thing, or is it a burning desire like this dream were for Rudy. Are we willing to look outside the obvious way to get to our goal, can we think outside the box? Are we ready to change our POA if new challenges comes our way.? or do we just say as most people, and like everyone else in the movie, ‘oh, this was just not for me’, I was not born to do great’ OH YES WE ARE!!!

In the movie you also see how things normally goes in a family, and in society. You grow up and do what is expected of you, nothing more than that. In this movie the father was a steelworkers or he owned the factory, so of course his sons should be a part of that business, what else was there to do in this small town? Don’t think for yourself.. just do what is expected..

An older son to Rudy, had the talent to do what Rudy wanted, but he just didn’t go for it, he just did as his dad told him to do, get work, find a wife etc. And so did Rudy, but he kept his dream inside and sadly one day his best friends dies, and that is the eye-opener for Rudy. And that is often what it takes for us to make changes in our life. It is sad that we often have to hit bottom before trying to get something better out of life..

I know we are working on it, and we are wanting to change, but do we really go the extra mill?

ARE YOU?

Are you really wanting your dream on your DMP-card? or is it only a dream?

Are you ready to go the extra mill TODAY?

DO IT NOW!

THIS IS YOUR LIFE 🙂

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Week 13 – I want to scream!

At the moment Im curious if the feelings like this will hit me again this year.

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Week 13 – I want to scream! (my first year)

I don’t know what it is.. I could hope that it was to get all the concrete of all at once.. but it’s not that easy.

I have written before that it seems like everything is out to get me, that there all the time keeps coming obstacles.. or a ton of new picadors running my way.

Sometimes when I read other blogs it’s like they struggle inside, where I feel everything around me is out to get me down.. and I know it then has to do with how I react to these situations. I heard about these crabs that you can’t catch, only if you get 2 or more at the time, because then they will stop each other in getting back out, and if one crab continues to try they cut of his legs so he can’t run. That is how I feel.

At the same time it’s like I REALLY want to scream, I really want to hump up and down and be REALLY ANGRY.. I’m really tired of being the one looking at all things the nice way, the good way, see the good in everything.. not because I don’t believe it, and do see it, but it’s just like nothing is getting back from this. Only more hard work, more explaining ‘why do you do this?’ ‘why have you put up these shape?’ ‘What good do you think will come out of that?’ I know that they are coming out of fear, but I really tired of ignorant people, I need new friends and family.. LOL

At the same time as feeling that I have changed or the world around me is different, either way.. yeah I also feel that nothing has happened, and I’m afraid because we are already half way, so I feel that I should have done better, there should have come just some results by now.. there somehow should have shown me some kind of a way or a light to follow.. but I feel like I’m stuck and at the same time falling. Falling back into the black hole, where normal is! Suddenly I feel my demands and dreams are too high, and that all the doubt comes with his ugly face..

The small glimzzzz of seeing a progress and loving this, somehow was taken from me again.. I’m fighting back, but GD it is hard to keep doing that..

And now I also need to be more grateful. I know I need to and that it is good to be because that is really not something we in Scandinavia is use to, not for real. But when you most of all just want to kick and scream it can be difficult. Oh I could be grateful that there is no one to kick or scream at at them moment 🙂 LOL

The hardest part is that it is all my own fault! I keep bringing these picadors into my life.. I attract all the challenges.. how hard is that to put on my shoulders on top of it all.. GREAT!!! I know it.. but at the same time I have no idea what it is that I’m telling the universe.. so I really have to listen even closer to my thoughts every second, because this has to STOP NOW!!!

So rephrasing and rethinking everything.. how can I put this, so that I’m very precise on what I want..??? hmmm… this is not only about the big stuff, but all the little things too.. (HURRRAAAAA more ‘work’)

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Week 12 – Looking for the more time to kick in

This is so funny – I do remember this so clear.. Mark keeps telling us that it will be no more work, and we would get more time.. hmm… more wants more or? where is this time?

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Week 12 – Looking for the more time to kick in (my first year)

I don’t know how you all do it.. with work and family..

At one point I don’t feel that there is too many things to do or read, but then when I get started, or at the end of the day where I find out that I still haven’t read xxxx.. I get frustrated.

I want to do better, and I want to spend more time on changing to the best version of me there is..

I would love if we could pause the world just for a month or so.. so I could catch up again.

This is a ride, and I started out this week being eager and almost waiting for the time to come where I should read my scroll and all the other stuff.. and I actually still have that feeling, but I also have the feeling of not having time to do it all..

No more sleep for me.. already now I know that in 2 maybe 3 hours my family wakes up and a new perfect, amazing day starts.

On top of that sickness has arrived in the house, we never tried that both of us are sick at the same time, so yes a new challenge, HUUURRAAA for me just have recorded everything again so that I don’t have to use energy to keep my eyes open to read and read and read.

So tomorrow I wake up knowing that this is going to be the best day of my life 🙂

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Week 11 – Ready to REALLY make new peptides!

My first year – this was how this week felt.. and it was such an enormous way.. and is still very powerful in me..

Being the observer of myself can be hard. I can really see that habits really can be strong and that the peptides really have a strong power.

I found myself reacting upset because that is the way I normally would react, but I was actually not upset, I was not angry, but my body and mouth just acted almost like before. Not as loud or irritated, I could really see the change, which was great.. on my way to be the best version of myself.

But what really was interesting was the part with having more or less no control over that my actions just came automatically, without actually wanting to act this way.

The story about the man going to get his coffee every day and getting his fix of being angry really got me thinking, and seeing things. Not only with myself, but with my boy as well. He expects certain reactions from me and my husband when he does things, and I can see that he sometimes also seek the negative reactions. I have often thought to myself, why does he seek that and not the good part, but now I know that he actually is not doing it with purpose.. it is the old habits and peptides that is in charge.. interesting, great to know and somehow a relief. Now then it is just how to figure out how to break these peptides and create new ones. I know how hard it is to do yourself, and he is too young to do that, so I need to help him do it unconscious, because I can’t get him to do assignments.. or maybe he can..

I now understands why these peptides can get really really strong, when they start out in our childhood and never get cleaned out.. I can see that my mission really fits with this, to get children and youngsters to be themselves and be self-confident really is important. It is so important that we start in the childhood, so that we get more self-confident teenagers, grownups and also the elderly.

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Week 10 – do the same with new results – interesting!

My first year I wrote this.

And it is still an amazing journey.

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Week 10 – Scroll 3

It is funny how things are put into a new context and then it is totally okay to do the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result, or?

I know I’m not a bull, but then it says ‘I recognize that each day I am tested by life in like manner’ (as the bull in the arena). ‘If I persist, if I continue to try, if I continue to charge forward, I will succeed.’

And at the same time you are always told that if you continue to charge forward that is stupidity, especially if you expect different results, and that we do, or else it wouldn’t say ‘I will succeed.’

I know if I stop, if I don’t try again, yes I will not succeed, but at the same time it is not only about trying. First of all trying is only if you’re not really sure that is what you want.. it is very weak. As then I can say ‘hey I tried’.. I need to do it a different way, and maybe the bull see each attempt as a new opportunity, as a new angel that now it is possible, that I don’t know. But from the outside it looks like a stupid fight that it can’t win, doing the same over and over again expecting that this time is different.

I know that I need to keep on doing something to reach the goal, and that I need to put myself in the arena.. but to just charge forward.. hmmm…

The first time I read it, that was just what it was, but then it started getting me thinking.. is this right? am I at the moment just being the sheep following the shepherd, and not thinking on my own.. I know this book is good, I know it already have changed a lot inside me.. but still is this true.. what if it was put in another context..

hmm I need to think, and let me see what will come to me during this next month of reading this over and over again.. do I get it, or do I just get brainwashed? interesting 🙂

I know everything is as they are suppose to be, so everything is great 🙂

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Week 10 – Are you the bull or the picador? – Part 2

Week 10 – Are you the bull or the picador – part 2 (my first years thoughts and feelings)

I am the bull!

It is interesting how turning the words, the pictures around, you can see it with the eye you want to.. and we all know that everyone see the world through their glasses, but at the same time we don’t think that the same story can mean the totally opposite of how you see it.

As you know from part 1, I could only see one version. The version where I am the picador and the world is coming at me, like the bull who comes again and again, and I just stand there fighting back with all my knowledge and love. But today reading that part again, I had to stop and write this, because it dawned on me.. NO I AM THE BULL, there is just not only one picador.. it’s like whatever way I turn in this arena there is a picador ready to fight, so actually there is no way out (or no way to get to the goal) without a fight.

But there is also a saying – fight for what you love, so..

So now I see the picador as all the obstacles coming my way, the negative thoughts, the negative people, the challenges showing up on my doorstep etc. etc. etc.

So as in a prior post – BRING IT ON!

I READY TO KILL A LOT OF PICADORS

So be sure you are not the picador on my doorstep. 🙂

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Week 10 – Are you the bull or the picador? Part 1

This really was a puzzel to me my first year, so let’s see how this lands on me this year.

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Week 10 – Are you the bull or the picador?

Actually I first was going to write about – who is going to lick the voons.. when you keep trying and trying and trying.. like the bull, how to heal, where to heal.. I know you heal once you have succeed, but that can take a while.

Then a saw something.. Hmm.. maybe I’m not the bull at the moment, maybe I’m the picador? And that is why I keep feeling that everything comes at me, I’m defending myself, I’m trying to use my shield of ‘I love you’ but I’m still only the picador, I need to become the bull, and attack my goal.

This makes great since.. so now it’s just how to turn into the bull?

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Week 9 – Masterminding

Don’t underestimate the value of masterminding..

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(My first year)

I have wanted to have someone to mastermind with for a long time, but where to find someone who wants to be there for me like that, and so often, and not just tell me what they think I want to hear.

I just love this MKMMA, for everything I have been wanting, and waiting for, (or quite a lot of it), is a part of this. So now I also have one that I’m masterminding with, and I don’t believe in coincidences, and actually she doesn’t either. I didn’t know anything about her when we linked up, but we have so much in common, that is it almost scary, but I really look forward to get to know her over the next weeks, and see what will come out of this new friendship.

About no coincidences, just think there is a reason for the person to be in my life, why??? Maybe to help, maybe to teach me something, maybe she/he needs you. So when you pick a masterpartner, don’t pick someone you know, what will you gain from that? You know how they are, you know what they will say more or less when you ask, so there is nothing new in that, and you will not develop. Look at the blog role, and pick a name, write to them and see if they want to connect. You might look for someone with the same time zone that makes things so much easier. I didn’t, but it ended up that way anyway. Trust the universe! There is always a reason for this person to inters you life, maybe only for a very short period of time, or maybe for life.

Also look on the people already in your life, that is exactly the same. If you have people in your life that is annoying you, frustrating you, stop and think WHY? Why are they a part of your life? is it time to let them go? or is there something that you need to learn from this person. Maybe not that they are going to teach you like face to face, but more the situations that you end up in regarding this person. Maybe you need to learn to handle these type of people, learn to say no, or learn to appreciate others situations.. the reasons can be many, but there is one.

Mastermind after each Sunday call, is optional, but it shouldn’t be, that is my opinion. If I should in few words tell anyone what I learned on this last call, it would be from the masterminding at the end. Not that I didn’t get the whole call, and not because that was the last thing, so that is why it is fresh in my memory. No because here is the questions and frustrations, that I have been feeling, thinking of, and it almost feels like I’m asking the questions, at least I get my questions answered. And you figure out that ‘hey I’m not alone on this journey, I’m not the only one having these thoughts etc.’ And you get help you get answers to why this is. How amazing is that.!!!

Love where this is going. 🙂

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Week 8 – Progress (my first year on this journey)

This week is the hardest of them all, not because of the tasks that are given, but now I think it shows if you really are going all in, or if it only would be nice to have all of your heart’s desire.

Yes it would be nice if it would have been easy, but then the world would look different. And at the same time, your heart might desire something else and more challenging.

I have found myself this week being jealous of the other members.. I have tried to remove my jealousy, but this week it jumped back with my old blueprint. But the reason was, and my thoughts were being jealous because a lot of them started to notice changes, and progress, and I felt that I was stuck, and actually today I have felt like I started all over.

Yesterday when the jealousy showed her ugly face, I reminded myself of that I didn’t know where these members had started their journey, maybe they did this course before, maybe they just had other head starts.. and what does it even matter. I should just be happy that they are doing well, and actually I am. It also got me thinking back and until today, so I forget today right now. Yesterday looking back on my journey, I remember when I started this journey and we were told that we could change any negative thought to a positive one, and we could decide what feelings to attatche to it.. I was just.. yeah right.. you are not in my shoes, that will never be possible to do in my situation. But I found out (yesterday) that actually a lot has changed, I do change my negative thinking, and the feelings following these thoughts, I don’t stay in that mood for a very long time, I just snap out of it and move on. I still have these moments, but I think that is okay and a part of life, but just knowing that I can snap out of it easily that is nice to know. And I guess that when I get better at it I will maybe even snap out of it before the thoughts are completed. Yeah I know that the assignment is to have no negative thoughts for 7 days, and if you can go 7 days without a single negative thought you can also go 7 years. But I have also heard that no-one have completed this task ever. But that doesn’t mean that we should stop trying, because it still changes our mindset and the happiness within and around us.

Then today.. I’m not sure that I want to bring it up. But here goes! My old blueprint really grabbed hole of me.. and really kept me down, the entire day. Normally as I just wrote I can find my way out of the darkness, but today I really had to put up the fight. And the funny part is, that this (writing) actually was the thing that started to getting some light shining back in. Normally it helps when I read my DMP, or the book or some of all the stuff we read, but not today. But now writing that I have been able to crack the code, I have been able to replace a negative thought with a positive one etc. this gave me hope.

I CAN DO IT AGAIN! and again and again. So there is nothing wrong with me, and I will get a great result out of this struggle and this journey, it might just be more ups and downs.

So progress.. yes.. welcome.. It might not be huge, but I’m doing it.. I’m changing my life, my attitude and it might be hard, but then it is so much worth when I can say ‘ did it’. This is my life and I deserve it!

The one I got now is of course what I get from my old actions and thoughts, and it will take time to turn this huge ship around, but that also means that when I have set the right course, it just doesn’t turn around the next moment.

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Week 8 – Forgive – it works

This still amazes me..

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It’s nice to know what your mind is thinking about, but also frustrating when you found out how many useless thoughts are in there every day.

I know that I’m in the process, and it is not done over night, but.. The part that I can always replace a negative thought with a positive one is nice, but not easy. The part that I can just attach any feeling of my choice to any thought and situation, again nice but not easy. These 2 I have really been thinking about this week which already has passed. And together with no opinions, and forgive everyone. Oh my!!!

There was a reason for me to go back a listen to the little video from week 7. There is always a reason for things to happen, but this time it really stoke me. This time I listened, or.. this time I felt it.

I had been in an argument, which I didn’t want to leave. Or I really wanted the other person to know that I meant business, that this was the last drop. And then Mark says, remember to forgive everyone!!!! Oh my..

First I felt, but How can I do that, when…. that is not fair, why should I suffer and forgive at the same time. But then something happened inside, like it just was done. What good would come out of me not forgiving this person??? NOTHING!

Then I almost got angry because it was true that I need to forgive everyone for everything, even though it might not be easy. But when you start to think it, it’s like your heart just follows your command. So yeah greet this day with love in your heart!

A few moments later I was preparing some Christmas things and did with my children earlier today, and put names in the gifts, and again one of these persons is not my favorite let me put it that way.. but my heart just told me.. forgive and forget, he needs it! And a calm peace surrounded me somehow.. Very strange, and at the same time amazing.

I didn’t feel that I was doing enough of the homework, I wanted to go even deeper, and seeing and feeling that something is starting to happen only makes me put even more effort into the exercises.

 

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Week 7 – What a wonderful World

This week is always funny and amazing..

You might walk around and feel and think that you are really positive, but ARE YOU?

When we start to take a closer look we might not like what we see, or rather what we going around thinking.. so..

Take the challenge with me..

NO NEGATIVE THOUGHTS!

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Week 7

It couldn’t be more perfect.. everything around me.

Last night on the call our new assignment was given; no negative thoughts!

Together with that we can’t complain, and no opinions 🙂 This must just be the start of the best week ever.

And yes.. Fantastic.. Amazing.!

My children sleeps a whole hour longer than usually, amazing then I also got some extra sleep, and never mind that we then get to daycare later. But we had to wait on daddy getting back from the workshop with the borrowed car, (our should have a checkup), yeah the car we should have had, had been in an accident, so we had to get one with one 2 seats. Great when you need to take 2 children to daycare. 🙂

So first my husband had to drive our son, and then I could go with my daughter to daycare (the same place), where she were suppose to start having a day without me, but they were under staffed, so no one to take care of the process of Agnes, my 10 month old daughter, getting settled in with new routines.. so okay, I just change my plans and stay.. Amazing 🙂 A whole day with my children at daycare 🙂

Then we have to go shopping, Agnes is very tired but wont sleep, that just makes a really fun girl to shop with 🙂 and to make it even better she drops my phone so that it breaks into pieces. Amazing.. 🙂

Okay, no negative thoughts, not nearly halfway through the shopping I realize that the time is way too late, and I need to pick our own car up at the workshop, and get back to my husband because he has a meeting he needs to attend. Okay Agnes has still not been sleeping, and it has started to rain. 🙂

This is now the rush-hour and we are getting nowhere.. BUT HEY HAPPY THOUGHTS, because do you know how many red circles there are.. MANY when you has to go through town.. so I’m just loving the red lights, and in my world my way to my LEGACY 🙂

Changing cars in pouring rain, on my own with a very tired Agnes. And then back to the family. Hey rush rush rush back, and what do I find.. my husband lying on the couch with our son. Hmmm.. The meeting was cancelled. ‘Oh, I wrote you a text message telling you’! This was 10 minutes ago and my drive takes 40 minutes, so really helpful.

Agnes still on sleep, so don’t want to eat, okay then up to bed, but no.. only almost 4 hours later and NOW a really frustrated mom, she is sleeping.

I’m not complaining, just stating the facts.. and telling the world what a wonderful world we live in 🙂

And tomorrow is a new day with NO NEGATIVE THOUGHTS..

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Week 6 – Everything around me is falling apart – or maybe it’s me getting out of the cement Buddha.

This is really interesting to look back on.

And amazing to see how much has changed.

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Week 6 – Everything around me is falling apart – or maybe it’s me getting out of the cement Buddha.

I really feel that every time there is light at the end of the tunnel, something happen, not for the better, but so the light disappeared. Before I started my MKMMA journey, it really put me down, and I was really feeling sorry for myself, and I didn’t know what to do.

It’s not that the challenges are less, or not there (I will get to that part), but it’s not so hard on me now.

Especially now with scroll II, I greet this day with love in my heart 🙂

And also just going to look for the shapes around me, shifts my focus, and a smile, the light starts to show itself again.

The universe is slow, and do not send my desire as I states them, so my old blueprint has send out all these ‘oh no, not again’ and that is what is in the lineup for the universe to send to me.. so I hope that my only messaging to the universe is over, so it can begin to hear my new blueprint, my new desires.

When a sat down today and thought about what I want in life, and I read part 6 I got a bit concerned, what if I’m not entitled to what I desire.. it says ‘ and when we have accomplished this we may ask anything to which we are entitled’. Maybe I’m just not on the right path to what I’m entitled too. Is that why nothing is happening with my desire and dreams. What shall I do to make myself entitled?

It’s funny, I love the new scroll but at the same time I haven’t struggled as much as I do this week. The first 5 weeks, were a lot to do, but I loved doing it because I knew that it would do me not only good, but great. I still know this, but somehow my old blueprint has found it’s way back and is really fighting me.. but I don’t know what the blueprint is, and I think I don’t need to know. Because it just has to leave my body, and it will if I just stay focused.

I’m looking forward to when my surroundings starts to shift as well, because I know it will. The part I’m most curious about is the family, I always been the black sheep, not because I have done things badly, but just not like everyone else. So this is really not on anybody in my families radar, but that is only sad for them. But I know that with my new open loving hard, they will change as well.

Starting a new business I hope that they will change in time to be supportive of me and the choices I make for me and my family, but I don’t think that I’m that lucky. But I must not focus on the negative, because then it’s send out to become this way.

Love you all!

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Week 5 – shapes and colors

Now my girls is older and we can do this exercise together, she still not really gets it and only sees the shapes and colors I have put up in the house, but we are getting there..

This was what happend my first year.

Week 5 – Shapes and colors

I just had an amazing walk with my baby girl today.. I have been struggling with finding all these shapes in my town, and since I’m home on maternity leave I don’t see that much new every day.. but I could try to walk a different direction. Or if it was the different street or me being more observant.. that is the question 🙂

I was so happy until I got home and saw that it wasn’t yellow triangles that I need to find, they should be green.. shoot.. But if we are going to use yellow triangles I know where to find them.. so now I just have to go for another search tomorrow.

But I did find red circles, or at least I make them count as circles. I lot of small totally round berries, I just couldn’t remember what to link them too.. but tomorrow I know when I go for my next walk.k 5

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I’m totally blank – week 5

No opinion on how this week is going..

week 5 – This is really interesting.

I’m not a woman of few words, and 1 year ago I might also have had a lot of opinions on a lot of things. But this week last year same assignment as this week, NO OPINIONS!

Funny enough this time I didn’t really think so much about it, it just was or is how it is suppose to be. But being the observer I see (or hear) so many people having opinions, but now I really don’t care (as much as before).

Sometime I just feel sad for them, other times I think ‘hey, I’m glad that I don’t have to put up with that any more or always go and be concerned about this and that, and then letting everyone knows, because what I say is important’.

One thing that is really great, yeah actually amazing! is that I no longer just jump in with them.. when they start talking about some crap I either just let them talk and let it go in one ear and out the other, or I simply stop them, and tell that I actually don’t care what they thing about x, y, z. I no longer start discussing it, or getting upset together with them, because it won’t bring me any good, so why bother.

WOW !

This is amazing!

To be able to see the change without knowing it, feels awesome.

Now it shouldn’t sound like I have no opinions at all, I sure do 🙂 but now when I focus on not having them it comes natural.. so the part with what you focus on you will get, really make since here.

So I just have to start focusing on more productive things.

underskrift-by-charlotte-r

Sorry for the layout.. My whole page is changing these days, so please bear with me.no-opinion

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week 4 – We all have obstacles and problems.

Really interesting how I saw things in week 4 in this amazing journey.

Week 4

We all have obstacles and problems in our lives, and no one can tell you that yours are not as bad as theirs.

You can never compare!

So what if there are thousands of people starving in Africa, that doesn’t help me. Yes that is horrible, but it doesn’t change my situation. And the fact that my neighbors burned down (it didn’t) still doesn’t change the fact that I feel I’m struggling in my life. So get over it!

GET OVER IT!

Only you can change your situation. And yes this course can and is confusing, and there is a lot going on, and I’m not use that I get it all 1) because of the info overload in my head 2) because I’m not native in english, and some slang words do not translate in Google, but I’m getting it. And I’m getting the part that I’m ready to get.

That is also why I would love to have had the time to be able to go back listen again, and again.. Because there is things I know I didn’t get the first time.. but I also know that everything is perfect!

I will get it in time 🙂

My life just got challenge one more time, a big set back with my husbands situation.

I could choose to focus on that, and that now everything will be hard, and it will be, but!!!! I know that I’m here for something way bigger, and I know that I have a purpose in life, so I need to step up and face the facts. And actually putting my head in these scrolls and my DMP and everything we read every day, THAT HELPS!!! It gets me back on track, back to where I’m going and not what is right in front of me. Because what is in front of me is the results of my old actions, my old blue print and thoughts, so therefore I can’t change that, but I can change how a react to it and how I let it be a part of my life.

I have know this for a long time, but the fact to do something about is not so easy.

SO HOW STUPID WOULD IT BE TO JUMP BACK TO WHAT I DON’T WANT, ESPECIALLY NOW I HAVE THE HELP TO SET ME FREE, THE GUIDENS TO BUILD MYSELF UP TO WHAT I CAN ACCHIEVE!

So to all of you in the group, I know this is hard and you have challenges, but think of the things you really want, think of the world we can be a part of if more of us get this, get how to be nicer, help more people etc.

YOU CAN STRUGGLE NOW FOR THE LIFE THAT YOU WANT,

OR YOU CAN GO BACK AND STRUGGLE WITH THE LIFE YOU DON’T WANT,

THAT IS TOTALLY UP TO YOU!

 

FOR ME THERE IS NO TURNING BACK

NOW IS MY TIME TO SHINE!

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Week 3 – How much one word can change everything

Still amazes me!

 

Week 3 – Will

Wow – what a difference!

Why did the author even put in the word WILL? This makes such a big difference..

With the will, it’s more like you don’t really believe that it is possible, like someone is telling you to think like that, and yes that was what we (I) needed to hear in the beginning. But the book was not written for this course, so if a small word like will can make such a difference, he should also be aware of it.. and yeah maybe he is, I don’t know what will 🙂 come in the next scrolls.

I just had to share this WOW moment.. because it helped me in my thinking of how I daily put my words with my children, and now have to put my words in the DMP too.

WOW!!!

Charlotte

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Week 3 – Emotions

Interesting to be reading how I felt when I took this class the first time..

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Week 3 – Emotions

Sometimes the most simple things tent to seem most difficult. What do I want?

Last week was horrible, I was really struggling with having a plan and fitting everything in, and remembering what I had to do.. But I promised myself not to give up, not to postpone, and like the scroll says you can’t retrieve nor substitute it for another.. And actually if you miss a day, you need to start all over on the 30 days, and I do not have time for that, 1) because I’m on the course and I have to follow 2) because if everything just can be done over, then why even try? I can do it tomorrow. NO!!! only if you don’t take your life and your dreams seriously.

Now things start to work as a plan, and slowly becoming a habit. Life and my old blue print keep trying to pull me back like the lobsters do..

I couldn’t understand why people after the webinar at the mastermind sessions got so emotional, but then I started look at my DMP to figuring out what to change and what I really want in life. I was scared of deleting things because I don’t want to miss out even though I know that if I get the heartfelt dream in place, I will manifest the ‘smaller’ things. I suddenly started crying when I felt how much it would mean to me to have an au pair in my life. So that must be a start, something I really want to attract.. then it is just how do I put my DMP so that I can manifest that one thing, even though it is a really small thing compared to all the other things on my list. Because at the moment I feel it has become a checklist.

I should be simple to know what I want, but…

Actually the physical stuff, cars, houses etc. will come when I have my mission in life in place. There is so many things I want to do.. but where to start. Mark also talked about that maybe what we are doing now only is a stepping stone for something even greater, so stay open minded. But I have to start somewhere..

Emotions reading our assignments change the energy in not only me, but everything around me, so I’m really looking forward as I progress and getting more enthusiastic into these readings, what I/they will accomplish on my self-esteem, in my business and in my family life.

This is such an amazing experience.. I have done something similar to the DMP before and read that every day, and it changed a lot, so why did I stop. It didn’t become a good habit. But now with this I know that this goes so much deeper, because I’m guided by true professionals, so I get it right, and therefore I already now feels stronger, even though I’m not where it’s going to be at all, but that is okay.. I’m on the way, I’m on the move..

I’m so much looking forward to the me in 6 month. I will be so amazing, gloving, shining, happy, grateful, loving and just fantastic.

‘When the student is ready the teacher will show’ I now understand that this is true, because I have for a long time wanted changes and tried different things, which luckily brought me to you. I’m so grateful for being ready to be here.

Charlotte

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Week 2 – Amazing – Frustrated – Stressed, but Happy

Again I want to share with you how I felt the 2. week for this journey.. of course this year is different.. but then again not so much actually.. I’m just a new place and facing new layers of concrete needing to get removed..

So maybe you can relate to this?

Enjoy my 1 years journey..

 

I really struggle with figuring out all the things I need to do to get the maximum out of this amazing Master Key program. I really struggle with where to find what and put things on my list.

But on the positive part.. I can already feel that it is making a difference in my life. I feel that when I have read the scroll it doesn’t matter how bad my energy started out with, how sad or irritated I was when I started reading. Because it change immediately! It’s like all my cells get filed with energy and I start smiling, and I straighten my back without thinking of it.

I know this is going to be amazing, and wow have no idea how fare this can take me. But I need the change, I need all this positive light fill my cells with energy, and I know that I’m on the right path.

Master Key Charlotte

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Week 1 – Gratitude

Now the journey starts.. this year again so grateful to be not only a part of changing my own life, but helping others to do the same..

The best gift ever..

And looking back on my 1. year doing this MasterKey is so fun..

Here is what I wrote when I toke the class:

Gratitude

I’m just so overwhelmed that I don’t know where to start.

So first I want to thank the lovely couple who invited me on this journey. I’m so grateful that you thought of me, and want me to improve and do better. Thank you!

Then I want to say thank you for this amazing program, and I’m really excited, nervous, happy and amazed to be a part of this for the next 6 month.

Some say that when you are ready the teacher will show, and I really feel that this is what they meant, now that I’m a part of this Master Key. This is a almost perfect timing, so I’m so glad, proved and honored.

The steps I went through..

1) excited to been given this opportunity.

(But I didn’t read the email right away, so when I finally opened it, I was so nervous that it was too late)

2) amazed over what it is

3) eager to get the application done, and done right

4) nervous that I didn’t make the list.

All kinds of thoughts went through my head. ‘Oh, I should have written so and so instead, then it might have been better.’ ‘What if I don’t cut the list?’ etc.

5) Super excited, happy, thrilled and words I can’t express, ‘yeah I made the list’.

6) Then what.. all the homework.

What was it, where do I find all the requirements.. Back to being nervous for not remembering to do all what is needed. Don’t want to be kick of the course.

2 Days in the program, and I work with this every minute that I got, so every time my little daughter is sleeping, I look at what to do today.

Charlotte

Week 17 A – Killing my best friend!

My first year

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Week 17a – Killing my best friend!

What?

Why?

You are not allowed to kill!

Don’t worry, this is totally legal 🙂

Saying goodbye to my very best friend, throughout 40 years, the one I always had with me, the one who had my back, or so I thought.. but not anymore.. she has to go.. and not just go.. no I have to kill her!

This is scary.. this is so much more than just letting go.. but that I have really had problems with.. what was it that I had to let go, and if I found something then why did I hold on to it.. but now knowing that the person and all the actions, the thoughts, the old blueprint is no longer serving me at all, so kill it! Burn the bridge to these peptides.. I know this might seem dramatic for you, but it has to be.. If I only say goodbye, and she leaves, then there is an option for her to return.. and I can’t take that chance.

I would not consider myself as a violent person, but sometimes you need to go to the extreme to get it.. and I think that is where I’m at.. But how do I kill her?

I know that through forming my new habits, and new blueprint she will die.. but that is not going fast enough, so what else can I do?

Stay tuned to this blog, and I will let you know if I find the fast way to kill my best friend who served my for so many years..

Why don’t we plan our lives?

New Year!

Why is it that we think we only are given a new start January 1st? And the last day of the year we suddenly realize that ‘oh no, for me to do better next year I have to change something’, and we panicky make some new year resolutions that we know we are not going to keep. 1) because we did not think them through, 2) is this really what we want and need to change in order to get the life we want?

People tent to not knowing what they want! How sad is that! (But if you know what you want, you might not know how to get it.)

When we are children we use our imagination and we dream, we play with the ideas of doing or becoming something amazing. What happens? Some says life happens. Hmm.. is that really the truth?

Grownups tent to tell the children that what they dream about only is a dream, and can’t be done. Why do we as grownups kill the dreams, kill the creativity, without it there would be on invention of anything.

So when does this start and stop?

I think it depends on our surroundings.. do we have a lot of grownups and maybe even older children telling us that we are childish and that these dreams and ideas are stupid and can’t be done. Then we will kill our own dreams and stop this process at an early age. Do we have less of these people around us we might get a bit older before we jump into the same box as all these dreamless people.

And then we have the NEW YEAR! Hurraaaaa.. for one night we dream again, but we don’t call it dreaming and it is also with a lot of limitations, because now we are grownups so it has to be realistic, more or less. So no big dream!

Why do we spend more time planning to escape from our lives and into our vacations, than we use on planning our life, so that we actually have a life we don’t want to escape from?

As young we plan our life, we plan what school to attend, what education etc. Then we get that and start working, and we are stuck! Then we stop thinking and just act, day in day out! Oh, yeah but there are bills to pay, you might say, yeah that is true.. but.. still.. why not have a fun and joyful time making these money. I’m not saying that everyone has a job they hate, I certainly don’t hope so. But a lot of people would rather complain about their lives and jobs, than actually do something about it! And that is sad.

So start today!!!

In what area of your life are you totally satisfied? And where would you love that it would look differently.

Rate yourself! From 1-10 where 10 being totally satisfied, and 1 being really miserable.

Health, Family, Helping in your society, Happiness, Wealth/Finances:

So the areas where you would love that the score would have been much higher, are you willing to do something to change it? or are you just going to complain about it again next month or year? What are you willing to do about it?

If I could, or someone else could help you, would you let us? Asking for help can be even more difficult.

So back to a new year! You decides when you start your new life (your new year), you don’t have to wait until the next actually numbers change on the calendar. Do it today, DO IT NOW! It is your life we are talking about.

WAKE UP!

Thank you for giving me the tools to change my life into my dream. It is not easy, then everyone would do it.. but if you have dreams and desires it is so worth it! I’m so grateful that there is a way!